I really was not prepared for this. It was a classic case of person who has never done this before meeting person who has done this for all of their career.
For me, every step of my daughter’s life seemed so measured, so careful (see post on moving her to a nursery). And this was her first day of creche! For the team there, they had seen so many babies before – and this was not such a huge hurdle.
As you can imagine, this mismatch of expectations led me to storm out of there after the first hour (which is all you usually do on your first day) and want to look at other crèches. Other places that would have held my baby like she was Simba in the Lion King being introduced to the other babies. Not just pop her on the floor and let her play with other toys with other children. Toys that the other children had touched and licked and that she was now putting in her mouth. And they didn’t want to know every single detail of her daily life.
I really did storm out and start to phone other crèches. And then burst into tears when they a) had no availability for me immediately, b) were more expensive than the one we were signed up and c) offered fewer services. That cost per services ratio was one of the leading reasons why we went this one but that obviously went out the window when the clear love and unbridled affection was not shown for my child in that hour we were there. My husband came home to me in a total state. Bless him.
I resolved myself to going back the next day for the few hours that was next on the schedule. I brought my husband for the drop off so he could see the clear neglect of duties. When he was pretty happy with it all and when my daughter seemed very smiley when I collected her after her first few hours there on her own, I may have thought that my first reaction may have been little bit dramatic. May have, mind you. I was still phoning around crèches.
And then day three happened. And I was able to go and get my hair done. And my daughter was happy out when I collected her. And then day four happened. And she was still loving it. And she took all her meals from them. And bottles. And was smiling all the time.
And then I realized that all that crying on that first hour of the first day was for me and about me. My daughter was growing up. And she was just fine without me. Well for a few hours every day anyway.
She’ll still need me for a bit while longer. Well, I hope anyway.